Don’t Ask Me Where I’m From | Review // Happy Book Birthday to this amazing book ft. a half-Salvi MC — I’M LIVING.

Greetings readers!

I am so pleased to be bringing you a review for a book that releases today!

When I first heard about this book, I was intrigued because hello I’m in for any and all Latinx books. And then I heard whispers that the MC was actually half-Salvadorian and I couldn’t press request faster when the publisher sent out the request list!

Do you guys know how hard it to find Salvadorian characters in YA books? It’s hard! But I’ve been given a gift with this book, and I’m so glad to say that it was quite a success for me! I hope that my review makes even just a smidgen of sense as I tell you how much I enjoyed it!

*Many thanks to Simon & Schuster Canada for providing me with an ARC*

Don’t Ask Me Where I’m From by Jennifer De Leon

via Goodreads

Pub Date: August 18th, 2020
Publisher: Atheneum/Caitlyn Dlouhy Books
Goodreads

First-generation American LatinX Liliana Cruz does what it takes to fit in at her new nearly all-white school. But when family secrets spill out and racism at school ramps up, she must decide what she believes in and take a stand.

Fifteen-year-old Liliana is fine, thank you very much. It’s fine that her best friend, Jade, is all caught up in her new boyfriend lately. It’s fine that her inner-city high school is disorganized and underfunded. It’s fine that her father took off again—okay, maybe that isn’t fine, but what is Liliana supposed to do? She’s fifteen! Being left with her increasingly crazy mom? Fine. Her heathen little brothers? Fine, fine, fine. But it turns out Dad did leave one thing behind besides her crazy family. Before he left, he signed Liliana up for a school desegregation program called METCO. And she’s been accepted.

Being accepted into METCO, however, isn’t the same as being accepted at her new school. In her old school, Liliana—half-Guatemalan and half-Salvadorian—was part of the majority where almost everyone was a person of color. But now at Westburg, where almost everyone is white, the struggles of being a minority are unavoidable. It becomes clear that the only way to survive is to lighten up—whiten up. And if Dad signed her up for this program, he wouldn’t have just wanted Liliana to survive, he would have wanted her to thrive. So what if Liliana is now going by Lili? So what if she’s acting like she thinks she’s better than her old friends? It’s not a big deal. It’s fine.

But then she discovers the gutting truth about her father: He’s not on one of his side trips. And it isn’t that he doesn’t want to come home…he can’t. He’s undocumented and he’s been deported back to Guatemala. Soon, nothing is fine, and Lili has to make a choice: She’s done trying to make her white classmates and teachers feel more comfortable. Done changing who she is, denying her culture and where she came from. They want to know where she’s from, what she’s about? Liliana is ready to tell them.

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The Likes:

At the centre and forefront of this novel is the incredible and very authentic voice. I can already see the complaints of people calling the writing juvenile and hard to understand because of the slang and can I just tell these people to shove off already? This story is being told by a 15 year old-girl, do you think that she always thinks in full sentences and with the vocabulary of a university professor!? No. I personally loved the writing style and voice! It really gave off the vibes of being in this teenager’s mind. The reader is put into her head so wonderfully, an effect that I think is best achieved when the vernacular of the text caters to the voice of the character. I mean did I understand every term used? No, but that’s what Urban Dictionary is for.

Liliana was a phenomenal character and I resonated a lot with her. She starts off this story your average teen living the high school life in Boston. She’s kind of moody, having to deal with her little brothers and her dad’s sudden disappearance, it doesn’t help that her mom isn’t letting up any details. Then things change, big time. She is accepted into the METCO program at a predominately white school in wealthy neighbourhood. She’s apprehensive about the move, but does it to make her parents happy. Then things get more intense as she discovers her father has actually been deported and that her mother is also an undocumented immigrant. These are not the most welcome experiences for her and she reacts in a very understandable way. She was angry and scared and most of all confused. Is she flawed? Oh yeah. And yet I loved her desire to learn more. To find the answers for her questions and find the voice to fight for herself. 

As she learns to navigate the halls of her new school she finds herself changing and is unsure how to feel about it. She begins to feel like she is losing herself as she is confronted with two very different worlds, neither of which seem to claim her entirely.  The trials of friendship both of maintaining connections you already have and creating new ones is a bug hurdle for her. There were so many different factors she had to balance at once. I was only ever the new-kid once, but this book does a great job of showing how difficult it is to navigate new waters especially in a school where there is so much division!

Reading about Liliana’s eventual awakening to the reality of her family’s story was so relatable for me. In my Latinx experience, it is very common that family stories and family secrets stay sealed among the adults. It’s when you reach a certain age, like Liliana’s 15 years, when you finally start to be trusted with the secrets. And sometimes these revelations weigh you down. I can only imagine the kind of hurt and confusion that Liliana felt about her parents and the idea that her dad might never come back to their family. Reading about how she dealt with this weight was poignant and really eye-opening.

Identity and knowing who you are is probably the biggest theme in this book. As someone who is both half-Salvadorian and half-Guatemalan, Liliana finds herself knowing very little about the countries from whence her parents hail. (And again so relatable) I loved that she took it upon herself to google, read books and ask questions to know more! Questions she asks her older family members that aren’t always answered in a direct manner (like is this my life?? I’ve done these very same things SO many times). She embarks on her own research about Guatemala and the hardships of immigration which was really admirable!

I don’t know much about the American school system, but reading this book was again very insightful. The complexities of the METCO program and navigating a school where you are constantly othered is scary. The amount of microaggressions and blatant racism that Liliana and the other POC characters face in the book is not shocking but pretty despicable. This book made a powerful statement on what it means to be open to diversity, navigating white fragility and the dangers of relying on BIPOC to “teach” people how to not be racist. It made me honestly reflect about my own experience in school. To be fair, my high school was not predominately white, but I still faced some of these very things from my own classmates. Some of these microaggressions I’ve done myself. I used to say–and sometimes still say–that I am “Spanish” when I am most certainly not. I was just so wowed by the truth after truth that this book spit out.

At heart this is a story about family. It was gut-wrenching at times because there is just so much heartbreak. This is not really a story about migration, although the dangers of crossing the US-Mexican border is a prominent worry for Liliana and her family. (Not mention the president that wants to build a wall.) And I really liked how the author approached it.  I feel like this book is for first-generation kids. The children of immigrants that are both of the nation they were born in be it American or Canadian (in my case) and that nations from which their parents come from. It’s about embracing that your identity is not limited to one single place, one single way of seeing the world. I might have cried just a little bit because this story resonated so much with me. In no ways is my life identical to Liliana’s, but just some of the things she thinks about and questions she asks reflect my experience too.

Nonetheless, this book leaves us all on a note of hope. It calls for holding yourself and your friends accountable.  It calls for us to never judge on first appearance and be open to everyone’s intersectionality. It calls for asking questions and being open to learning about the struggles everyone faces. It’s about facing that fear even in the face of rejection and embracing that each and every one of us is a complex human being worthy of going for gold to reach our dreams.

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Overall, this book was a really amazing read. It grabbed me every time I opened the page and let me tell you that second half had me clutched by the collar, I couldn’t put it down! Centered around themes of identity, social justice and family, this book is sure to draw you in with its unique character voice and drama. It’s a compelling read and very relevant!

Rating: 5 / 5 Stars

Recommend: Oh yes!

Let me know what you think! Have you ever read a book with a character that shares your culture? Are you looking forward to reading this? What books about family and/or social justice do you love?

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Happy reading!

~ Rendz